This battle was a trial free-for-all exercise at my condo complex between the core members of the Mizukage Tactical Unit, which included me Sparrow and Seraph. I wore my full ninja uniform and was armed with my trusty Flash Flood, with a 50oz Aqua Pack and a portable cooler full of ice and Gatorade. Sparrow was equipped similarly, only he was armed with an Arctic Shock and no Aqua Pack to achieve optimal speed. Seraph equipped his trust Monster X and a Vaporizer.
By default, all weapons were empty. We began the war by splitting in different directions to scout our own respective “territories” for active water taps on the buildings in the complex. As I took the eastern sector I found two taps and marked their location on a satellite photo I printed prior to the battle. Afterwards, I took a sip of the Gatorade in my cooler and hid it under a bush next to a fence. After a brief meditative period to get focused, and a sip of 5-Hour Energy, I donned my ninja mask and set out to find the opponents.
In the far west sector, Sparrow and I encountered each other from several buildings away. We shifted between buildings for about 20 minutes trying to catch each other off guard. Finally I was able to peek around corner and see him coming, while he seemed unaware of my presence. To avoid being seen, I had to avoid peek around any further, resorting to listening for his footsteps. Once they were loud and clear enough, I prepared to attack the split-second I saw him emerge from the corner; Sparrow remained unaware until I was already in range for a blast from my gun’s flood nozzle, after which he attempted to return fire but was unable to land solid hits due to my speed, forcing him to retreat. After several minutes of chasing, I broke off the pursuit to attempt to catch him off guard again.
I spotted Sparrow coming up from around another corner. This time my job was easier, as at this time I began to employ possibly my most potent weapon: the shadows. With the sun on the opposite side of the building, Sparrow’s shadow faced towards me, allowing me to see him before his body even came into visual range, while my own shadow hid safely inside the shadow of the building. Once I saw his shadow, I lunged out and blasted him with another direct flood nozzle attack. He looked ready to surrender, but it turned out to be a ploy to let my guard down so he could blast me in the face with his own flood nozzle, loaded with ice-chilled water.
As I continued to chase him down, I realized that he was drawing close to my main base, where I hid my cooler. In order to avoid him discovering my base, I had to break off pursuit. After the skirmish, I fell back to the rest and resupply, as well as to relocate my cooler. I refilled my Flash Flood and Aqua Pack at one of the two taps that was previously marked on my map, after which I decided to set my sights on Seraph, whom I’ve been able to evade for most of the battle. We encountered in the central sector of the complex, with Seraph wielding a lone Vaporizer.
SERAPH: “Dude you are so ****ing hard to track! One moment I’m following you, then suddenly you just disappear.”
(me): “Thanks. I stealth-killed Sparrow twice!”
SERAPH: “Haha! Nice!”
After brief dialog, Seraph attacked with a barrage of Vaporizer rifle streams. Despite my repertoire of agile maneuvers including shoulder rolls and cartwheels, I was having difficulty evading the attacks while keeping in range for sufficient damage of my own. Eventually, however, I learned to respond with a nimble counter-fire maneuver involving a rotating low-to-the-ground sweep movement, allowing me to duck under each stream and disperse any damage, followed up with an outward underhand wave shot from my gun’s main nozzle (difficult to explain, similar to swinging a sword). I continually used this sweep attack about three more times to backlash Seraph’s Vaporizer attacks until he adapted by simply aiming lower. The time then came to serve it up by disengaging my Aqua Pack for a boost of mobility. After charging him and hitting with the flood nozzle, he backed off and I pursued.
Failing to catch up with Seraph, I ran into Sparrow and continued my pursuit of him, with several onlookers watching as we two water shinobi chased each other around the yard. When I stopped to clear a jam with my equipment, Sparrow took this opportunity to hit me with his flood nozzle, after which I quickly retaliated with my own flood attack, hitting him as he made his egress.
The next time we met, it was all three of us in the middle of a turn-around driveway. Seraph, now wielding his Monster X, fired at me, and I outran the blasts. Sparrow came up and attacked Seraph, diverting his attention away from me. I was now presented with a golden opportunity, an opportunity I’ve been waiting for all season, and one of my big resolutions for this season: to execute Kakashi Hatake’s 1000 Years of Death jutsu; with his back turned, I rushed up to Seraph, rammed my flood nozzle into his rear-end and unloaded an entire chamber of water up his (god I wish I could swear here, makes it sound much better lol). With a massive wet spot in the back of his pants that looks like an “accident,” Seraph charged at me with mad rage, while I hastily ran away laughing. While he returned his attention to Sparrow, I quickly refilled my Flash Flood and returned to find that both of the other fighters lost sight of me, and were calling out for me. Seeing that they didn’t see me behind a carport, I used the carport as cover to get close to Seraph, who’s back was turned, and executed another 1000 Years of Death jutsu into his pants. He then attempted to shoot back with the Arctic Blast, which Sparrow lent to him but unfortunately forgot to pump for him, which irked Seraph further.
I egressed behind a fence, with Seraph closing in on me. Fortunately, my skill and knowledge with shadows was undoubtedly my greatest weapon of all, usable both offensively and defensively; while my shadow stayed safely concealed by the building’s much larger shadow, his shadow was fully exposed, telling me exactly when to strike. I lunged out at the very sight of his shadow, while he was unable to spot me for a few split-seconds afterwards, at which point it was too late to react, and he received a flood blast to the chest, making him let out a shriek as I egressed to the opposite side of the building, where Sparrow was waiting. I dueled with him until Seraph could catch up.
SPARROW: “Did he actually hit you??”
SERAPH: “Uh yeah! You heard me screaming didn’t you!?”
At this point everyone was worn out and ready to calm down until I snuck another flood blast into Seraph, enraging him enough to chase me down with his Monster X, with Sparrow close behind. I lost my footing and took heavy damage from Seraph’s rapid bursts, but Sparrow got him off with what little ammo he had left. Seraph and I were also running low, but I was able to evade their remaining attacks and deliver whatever counter-attacks I could until all ammo was expended, ending the exercise.
Overall, this game revealed much of what we, especially I, were truly capable of. I learned new techniques and strategies, and everyone else lots of fun. As a bonus, it’s always good to have spectators, and being seen around the neighborhood as full-dressed ninja greatly boosts are notoriety; I’m sure we are very well known in this neighborhood by now. Add that to accomplishing my season’s resolution of successfully executing 1000 Years of Death, and I’d say this was a very successful game.